Jimmy Got A Job At Google

I am still up and completely wired but in a very good way.  Tomorrow is my long awaited Honeymoon to Atlantis in the Bahamas!!  Since I can't sleep and I don't particularly feel this situation warrants any medication... I figured that I would leave a parting post to get you guys through my radio-silence.

I have an announcement to make... even though I'm sure that most of the people who read this blog already know the news - I haven't made an official announcement... so here it is.  I AM OFFICIALLY HIRED by ZAPPOS.COM and will start on FEBRUARY 4th, 2013!!!  The office is in HENDERSON, NEVADA- which means come mid/late January, I will be making my transition to become a member of the Silver State.

Check out their Zappos Family Music Video!!

I feel very lucky to have been one of the "chosen ones" because Zappos only hires 1% of all applicants and have a very unique and somewhat strenuous application process.  It's one of the top "Happiest Places to Work" and is Fortune's #11 for 2012.  Their pride and purpose is to deliver HAPPINESS and they do it by religiously (no kidding, it's almost like a cult) protecting its culture. 

They do everything, including hire and fire, according to their 10 Core Values:

  1. Deliver WOW Through Service

  2. Embrace and Drive Change

  3. Create Fun and A Little Weirdness

  4. Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-Minded

  5. Pursue Growth and Learning

  6. Build Open and Honest Relationships With Communication

  7. Build Positive Team and Family Spirit

  8. Do More With Less

  9. Be Passionate and Determined

10. Be Humble

Check out my ZAPPOS VIDEO RESUME on my Google Drive.  After submitting it, they emailed me and asked me to complete a series of "missions" that I chose to accept and were very interesting and challenging.  I did a skills test for Typing and Grammar and answered the standard employment questions... and there were creative open-ended ones. Here are some examples...

Who is your favorite superhero and why?  I chose Samwise Gamgee from LOTR for a multitude of reasons which I explained at length in an essay.  If you walked into a room and a theme song was playing, what is it and why?  Barbra Streisand by Duck Sauce because it's fun and can be interpreted anyway you'd like.  Also, you can use any dance moves you want anytime you want - it's also very easy to sing along to *OoooOOOOoOoOoooWooOoooOoo... Barbra Streisand*  On a scale of 1 - 10, how lucky do you consider yourself?  Eight.

Then came an even more interesting exercise where I had to choose 5 phrases out of a plethora of choices that expresses what I think ultimately reflects my feelings of my dream job.  Yes, it was quite abstract.  But they liked what I chose and I like what they've got.

I went out there for a 3 in 1 power interview/skills test session because they knew I'm from out-of-town.  During the 3 hours I was there, I was blown away by how extremely excited and genuinely happy the people were.  There's free meals and endless beverages complete with its own barista-operated coffee bar in the break room - I enjoyed my iced tea in a massage chair as my test was being graded.  There's a nap room, yoga balls for chairs, mandatory goofing off, parades, life coach, weight watchers, gym, casual-or-not-casual-whatever-you-desire-to-wear dress code, and those are just the perks AT work.  Plus the 40% discount...  Online shopping?  I have found my workplace heaven.

There's a scene in the movie titled: 21, between Kevin Spacey and main character Jim Sturgess...

Jimmy got a job at Google.
Well, if you're making so much money at this then why did he take it?
Ben, I said Google, not Sizzler.
 

When Zappos called me... that was my Jimmy-Got-A-Job-At-Google moment!  This is it!!  I am so grateful for this very unique opportunity to move forward in a new direction.  Will and I both feel that this is a kick in the seat of our pants to make a change.  And when life calls... you've got to answer!

The Perfect Dozen

Yesterday, I went to a group therapy meeting that was recommended (more like mandated) by my Kaiser psych dept. clinician - who is the one that writes me notes to stay out of work and, eventually, will give me a medical release to go back to work (oh, joy).  Anyway, this is a program called Work Masters and it gathers people from all facets of the work force and teach us skills to cope with work stress.

There were 12 people at this session.  The program was in the last week of its Stress Management module.  Eight of the people shared their goals from the previous week and what they had done to achieve said goals.  Here is a roster of the most distinctively interesting characters:

REFORMED ALCOHOLIC:  He used to drink like a fish for 18 years.  Then, one day he took hold of his life and changed for good.  He attended several group therapy programs (I can only assume Alcoholics Anonymous was one of them) and got individual therapy.  He has been doing great for the last 3 years and can 'have a drink' without losing control.  Things at work have been going poorly and he's been back at Work Masters.  Last week, he got off work and pounded an entire bottle of Bourbon.  He has not returned to work since.

SUGAR FIEND:  She's been at her job for over 10 years and hates her boss.  She lost her cool with some clients and blew up in her office.  She lost touch with nearly all of her friends in her depression and isolation.  She waved around one of those lollipops that are like jawbreakers on a stick as she told us how she can never drive past her favorite dessert shop without stopping in for a treat... She was gently reminded that Sugar is an addiction and it fuels stress and anxiety.  She gave a nervous chuckle and continued with her lollipop.

SCHOOL TEACHER:  She is a school teacher.  When she feels the waves of stress and anxiety hit her at work, she can't find the time or privacy to do any of the calming techniques she has learned.  She knows that she needs to drink more Water throughout the day but just can't seem to do so.  She even brought special water glasses to work because she thought they would encourage her to drink more water, but the kids kept breaking them.  Her mother tries to butt into her business all the time but she is a grown,  middle-aged woman.  *snap, snap, snap*  She sets boundaries with her mother by telling her, "NOT TODAY, Mom.  NOT TODAY."

TOXIC HUSBAND:  I actually have no clue what he does or what his work stress is.  He only talks about his Wife and how she rips apart his integrity every day.  For example, he consumed ONE beer and then drove his family to the movies.  She made a huuuuuuge deal out of him consuming alcohol while on medication and endangering her entire family.  He said he would've asked their son to drive if he had let's say 3 or 4 beers... but he only had ONE and the theater was only a few blocks straight down the road.  He was not receptive when multiple members pointed out that he SHOULDN'T be drinking with his meds and he DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T be driving afterwards!  Hey dude, maybe your wife is a b*tch because her husband is an angry, reckless, self-righteous prick.  hmmmmm

JUICING NURSE:  The hours are grueling, the workload is endless, and the demands to do more with less is ever growing.  Sick people are piling up by the day.  Couple all that with threats of losing her job by not meeting expectations (or maybe doing something wrong? I don't know, it was vague - BUT another nurse in the group also said her job has been threatened as well.... so maybe it's a common thing??) and she is overwhelmed.  She recommends that we all start juicing and watch the documentary Escape Fire.  She also suspects that eating beef is the root of many of our problems.

... and so on and so forth.  This motley crew of characters was just the sampler platter.  The main entree, the Real Deal of the Day... was the A BEAUTIFUL MIND LADY.

She works for the City and suffered a work related injury because she fell out of a dump truck and hurt her leg.  When she returned to work after surgery, she needed to be on light duty but they wouldn't let her.  Earlier this summer her children's grandmother died.  The grandmother's brother came into town to help with the affairs and he died the night before the funeral.  A Beautiful Mind Lady goes to Riverside for the funeral and she left the girls with their dad.  One morning, he was fixing them breakfast when he died!  One of the daughters found him on the kitchen floor.

*Ok.... wait a minute.  There's too many people dying for it to be coincidental.  Either this story is fake/exaggerated OR they're all druggies. AND if the grandmother is 'the children's grandmother' shouldn't the dad be at the funeral too?  Or are you calling your own mother their grandmother, in which case, you do have deeper issues.  hmmmmm*

So... when she returned to work, instead of putting her on light duty they put her to work in a different position in a different department - in her children's dead father's office.  No, not like his general office - as in the very room/desk/chair that he sat in.  She started crying at this point.  Then she said they put her on the night shift... which she never worked a day of because before she left his office... there was a rat infestation and she was so scared she jumped up and hurt her shoulder.  She was out of work again for that.  She knows they did all that to mess with her.

*Alright, this story seems to be quickly unraveling at the seams.  I am now only 50% committed to the reality of this story and I think those are crocodile tears...*

Then ensued a bunch of questions from the group about the Union, Bereavement Leave, Worker's Compensation, and Children's Grief Street workshop.  She said a bunch of things... which I only half-paid attention to.  Then my ears perked up when she said that she's been contacting the HR in Downtown but her friend in HR told her to switch phones because they've tapped her phone.  Since then, she has noticed that "they" have investigators tailing her everywhere and that they're outside RIGHT NOW.  She can't use her cellphone because they have wiretapped it.  She has cost the City a lot of money and they're going to try to get rid of her.  She is afraid for her children's safety.  And.... last week.... her sister died ...... after her daughters' cousin died!

Finally, the group moderator stopped her and said we had to move on.  She said that she strongly recommends individual therapy and that she'll give her some resources for her daughters.  She stayed long enough to get the handouts for deep-breathing exercises - which we took turns reading aloud like in middle school - at which time she left early and didn't say goodbye.

So... I've decided that I am NEVER GOING BACK to that workshop.  I spent 1.5 hours listening to a bunch of nonsensical crap and learning one deep breathing exercise which I could've just read the handout and done at home.  I don't think I want to be exposed to these people who have all these other issues that are not related to Work Stress!!  I was like, wtf... why is no one else concerned that we are sitting in a small room with A Beautiful Mind over here completely schizo-ing out?!  There isn't even a security guard in this building, whyyyy?  and That man clearly needs to go to Couple's Counseling, Anger Management, and Substance Abuse - NOT Work Masters!!!

I think the acquiescence stems from the fact that if they started discounting other people's non-work related issues... then they'll ALL have nowhere to vent their plainly non-work related issues.  Whereas, I am not an addict, I do not have a toxic relationship, I like my family and friends, and I am not mentally ill.

Yeah, never going back.  The END.

Dear Department, Part I

Some of you may know that I have a somewhat tumultuous relationship with my supervisor.  For anonymity's sake we shall call her Evil Boss.  The emotional turmoil has been going on since April... it subsided temporarily in August as a result of me going to the Chief. Then she began to rear her ugly head again in September but I left for a small chunk in the middle for the wedding. *Refer to October 2012 post: Forever, Here We Come!*

When I came back on October 1, Evil Boss was back in business.  For some historical context here... she has targeted and pursued multiple coworkers in the past.  Several of which no longer work at my office anymore.  (P2 - I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS!)  Anyway, for those of you who really know me... I am not one to just take it.  I mean, I try to be as polite and respectful and professional as any other person at work - and I put on a good front - but I have a limit.  Some of you have seen me reach this limit, and a select few of you have seen me blow past the limit.  I'll admit it, sometimes I lose my marbles.  If I had to choose a geological entity to identify my personality - I would have to say Volcano.  If I had a totem animal - it would be the Sonoran Desert Grasshopper Mouse (Seriously, this mouse hunts like a cat, howls like a wolf, and KILLS for a living).  But it's freaking adorable.

Although, I really haven't been keeping it cool - I often sit at my cubicle and shake with overwhelming anger.  But I am a mature, professional woman working for a government agency... with parents who really, really, really emphasize the importance of being a good worker.  I'm not going to bust into her office and tell her a piece of my mind!  That's just going to make me look psycho!  Especially since she is that insidious type of workplace bully.  She never steps out of line publicly.  She will ALWAYS make you come to her office, close the door, and sit down. *shudder*

At any rate... things have escalated at a very rapid rate as of late and Evil Boss is no longer tolerable.  I have written a 4 page letter which I intend to send to HR, the Chief, Assistant Director, Director, The Union, and the Ethics Committee.  I won't include the entire thing but I'll include what I've been dealing with this past week...

                On October 31, the current Training Coordinator informed me that *Evil Boss* engaged her in a conversation specifically regarding me that day.  *Evil Boss* asked her if I was happy with my job because I did not seem “invested.”  *Evil Boss* also told her that I missed a lot of work and have not even tried to do any cross-training.  While I felt her private workplace bully antics to be something I could personally overcome, I found this highly prejudicial public mischaracterization of my work ethic, performance, and attendance record to be completely out of line both ethically and professionally.  I had previously grown to distrust *Evil Boss* with personal or medical information but never suspected she would breach the level of confidentiality and discretion expected of a supervisor.

                On Novermber 1, *Evil Boss* refused to let me use Sick Leave Other (SLO) on Kronos *timekeeping software* because I did not use the words “medical” and “family” at any time of my request, nor did I notify her of my intention to use SLO upon returning.  I consulted *HR Lady* regarding this specific timekeeping regulation matter and e-mailed *Evil Boss* the instructions from *HR Lady*.  She came to my desk and asked me to follow her to her office.  She had already begun walking away when I asked her what the meeting was for.  She turned back and asked me to come to her office again, and I refused.  At which point she said, “Ok, we can do it here if you want.”  She flipped open the Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) and began quoting it to me.  I brought up my conversation with *HR Lady* and she interrupted with the following: “I just went upstairs to talk to *HR Lady* and corrected her.”  She read the MOA aloud again and then stated, “I am the appointing authority and I can request verification.”  I explained that it was my understanding a doctor’s note was only required if I missed three or more days of work.  She stated that she was not asking for a note.  To which I replied, “Then what are you asking for?”  She restated that I could not use SLO and I announced I would use another code.  She walked away.

                *Evil Boss* actively undermines her subordinates’ relationships with Human Resources (HR) and upper management.  I found this episode to be highly embarrassing and completely unnecessary.  It also proved that HR could not assist me in my grievous interactions with *Evil Boss*.  It elicited a strong emotional response from me as I felt very humiliated and offended.  I have, on other occasions, been extremely frustrated by her actions to a point where my hands would shake.  I have even missed or left work as a result of interactions with her.

                On the morning of November 2, *Evil Boss* and I exchanged e-mails that were copied to *2 HR Ladies* in continuation of this matter.  The final action was *Evil Boss* walking up to me and brusquely placing a copied page of the MOA on my desk with two highlighted sections.  At this time, I began to feel extremely ill.  The symptoms were unrecognizable to me and I made an urgent appointment at Kaiser Permanente using their website.  Soon after, my condition worsened and I called their hotline.  After answering screening questions, the nurse recommended that I go to the Emergency Room immediately and that I do not drive.  After ruling out a cardiac event, I visited my regular physician who conducted further diagnostic evaluations.

                I have been placed off of work from November 2 through November 18, during which time I will seek additional treatment as prescribed and referred by my physician.  I am also actively pursuing enrollment in the Employee Assistance Program.  I am filing an official complaint against *Evil Boss* and a worker’s compensation claim.

EPILOGUE: I was diagnosed with an Acute Anxiety Attack and Generalized Anxiety.... caused by EVIL BOSS!  My doctor placed me off work for 2 weeks, prescribed medication, and gave me a psychiatric referral.  That witch sent me to the looney bin!  I loathe her.  I am seeking a 2nd opinion on how to order HER a psychiatric referral.  *scowl*

Forever, Here We Come!

So... it certainly has been a long time. Obviously, there was my wonderful wedding... then the mini-moon (which turned out to be a staycation)... and, of course, the crash landing back into real life.

The wedding day was everything I imagined it would be... a crazy day that was an epic culmination of 17 months of planning, 2 families, 3 languages, 70 guests, 6 vendors, 2 makeup artists, 1 hairstylist... and a partridge in a pear tree.

FUN AFTER-THE-FACT: Most people never knew... but I had a flower bouquet CRISIS at 10pm on Wedding Eve in my hotel room. The bouquet committed flower suicide if I've ever seen one. Flowers snapped and voluntarily leapt to their doom. BiYing and I tried to Franken-flower the thing back together but to no avail. She witnessed me oscillate between despair and delirious amusement... until I just figured: I'm going to pay someone a lot of money to take care of this tomorrow.

The schedule took on a life of its own and there were many moments when I felt that I would be left behind by the machine that seemed to live and breathe on its own. At some point... I felt really annoyed and anxious because my makeup artist did not do a very good job budgeting her time and the minutes ticked by.... I had worked so hard to make sure everything was perfectly in place and now she was going to wreck everything! However, my hair stylist was truly a life-saver and pulled it all together in record time - I slipped on the dress and BAM!! I realized that the show really couldn't go on without me because I was the SHINING STAR at the very center of it.

FUN AFTER-THE-FACT: A few of you may remember Janet the photographer asking her husband-assistant "You haven't taken Groom/Groomsmen solo shots yet???" To which he cool-as-a-cucumber replied: Nope. Turns out... two of the Groomsmen decided to pick up their tuxedos the morning of the wedding. BAD idea. Men's Warehouse got the following incorrect: Shirt size, Tie/Vest color, and Pants Length. They were massively late, to say the least, and then Will's brother said, "Wait, you all have handkerchiefs?" This was when Will called Men's Warehouse and chewed out the store manager.... Store manager told Will he can come and pick up another one right away to which Will hot-as-a-habenero replied "I have a wedding in 2 hours, YOU CAN F*CKING DELIVER IT YOURSELF!!!"... Which he promptly did. And, very wisely, all the males kept this juicy story to themselves until 2 days after the wedding. (see... they learn!)
 
So, moving past the silent mini-crises... we were all able to meet for group photos before the ceremony and I'm pretty sure they will be amazing just due to the sheer complexity of the photography. Really, I have no idea how they think of some of those shots but I guess that's why they get paid the BIG bucks! ***Sorry! I only had a few sample pics as previews of my wedding portrait session - none of the ACTUAL wedding yet!*** My bridesmaids were the best help ever - everything and anything I needed... I asked and instantly received! =P

I truly believe the most special part (besides the marriage, that's a given) was sharing the joy, love, and elation with my parents. My mom looked so beautiful and it reminded me of my early childhood in Hong Kong when I would watch her do her hair and get dressed up and think she was the most beautiful person in the whole entire world. And right before the ceremony, I was just standing in the back hallway alone with my dad... and he told me how happy he was. We talked about the time when I was just 3 or 4 years old and he was the pianist for a wedding. Nobody could watch me so he brought me along and I sat next to him on the piano bench inside the church as he played the Wedding March.

Then came the ceremony and then the whole thing really became a blur. I remember being terrified as I walked down the aisle... I've walked through crowded rooms before and I've been presented awards, etc.... but nothing comes close to the INTENSITY of a gathering of people, standing, waaaaaaatching you. It was like I could FEEL their attention. It was slightly overwhelming... and when I was holding Will's hand I remember thinking *wow, I should really stop trembling before people think I have a neurological condition.*

Luckily, things loosened up quite a bit with the light-hearted ceremony that the officiant had written. I remember thinking *Wow, this man is hilarious! So worth that ridiculous travel fee he charged us!* I also remember being dumbfounded as to why no one had the insight to turn off the fireplace! It was like 106 degrees standing in front of that thing and I remember thinking *omg, half my face is going to run...* Critical thinking people!! But the words were lovely and the vows were touching. It was over before I knew it and Will was pulling me in for the double kiss... which I didn't even remember - I only know this thanks to Jennifer's video! hee hee

FUN AFTER-THE-FACT: The 15+ layers of Tulle/Satin/Petticoat very effectively trapped all the heat blazing off the fireplace during the entire ceremony. All I wanted to do was disappear into an empty room and raise all the skirts up over my head and fan it all out *attractive*... but my entire family and the wedding party were all in the boardroom... and I had a mini-meltdown. Fortunately, the collateral damage was minimal and everyone was very understanding. Lesson: should have brought a fan to put under my dress in between events/photo sessions.

I missed the cocktail hour because I was freshening up... it took 2 people to help me pee (it was just like in that move 27 Dresses!) and we took more photos... I'm waiting for the pictures to see what it looked like. But I've heard rave reviews...! Everyone said the hors d'oeuvres were excellent and it was very pretty. At one point I was walking across the lobby really fast and caught something out of the corner of my eye and shouted "DID I JUST SEE A GUY WITHOUT A SHIRT ON???" Yes, I guess I kind of missed the part in the contract where they said the Pool Deck would not be closed off to guests... oh well, as long as they didn't eat anything or mooch off my food... live and let live!

The DJ cut off our First Dance Song very early... and I didn't get to show off my fancy moves *Refer to August 2012 Post: Drop It Like It's Hot* but I guess that's ok! We never practiced the dance with my dress on.. so Will was really afraid of stepping on my skirt the whole time... which is why he was bent over with his butt sticking out like the first 30 seconds of the song... so does the Mean Foreign Lady from the dance studio get the last laugh here??? Nahhhh... I do. Because I laugh louder.

FUN AFTER-THE-FACT: The food was awesome like I knew it would be from the tasting session... I only wish I ate more of it! Apparently, when you sit you kind of compress downwards and squish outwards. And when you're wearing a very tight corset... it acts like a Chinese finger trap. At one point I was taking very shallow breaths and was afraid I would faint. LoL. I looked beautiful though... all worth it!

I wish I had more time to spend with my friends. You know, just catch up and goof around... basically stuff I like to do AT weddings. Hahaha... it's so much different when it's YOUR wedding. I was pulled in a hundred directions and never seemed to find enough time to chat for more than a few seconds or minutes with basically all my favorite people who were all present!

I didn't even see Will all that much after dinner... hehehe, but he had a fantastic time and it felt great to see him so happy. See... I'm becoming more wifely by the day! We spent our Staycation just reminiscing about the highlights and blunders... laughed about the hilarious moments and relived the beautiful ones. We were both too exhausted to go to Las Vegas after the wedding so we stayed in San Diego. We ate our favorite foods and went on some new adventures!
 
Someone asked me if I could do it all over again, would I do it all over again... I've thought long and hard about it and the answer is: irrevocably and unconditionally - YES. I would do it all over again exactly the same! I never understood the magic of a fancy pants wedding, that getting married in a courtroom should be the same... But I don't think that anymore because it's been almost a month and I'm still sooooooo happy! I still get excited when I think about my gorgeous cupcake tower that was more beautiful than I ever thought it could be (I asked for seashells and sand and there it was like x1000!) I still bring out my cake cutting set once in a while just to marvel at how beautiful it is and how heavy it feels in my hand. I watch the video ALL the time... My parents are still buzzing to all their friends & our relatives about the whole affair.

I was also asked if I regretted anything. I don't regret anything... nothing. nada. zilch.

And the greatest thing of all is that this is the beginning of our Forever. Of all the adventures, trips, outings, crazy bar nights, holidays, family gatherings, escrow, trials & tribulations that Will and I have weathered together... this was singularly the most important and demanding event in our relationship, our life. It really took everything we both individually could offer - body, mind, and spirit - to have made this thing happen. It really showed us that we're capable of creating something very special and bring our family and friends together to witness our promise and commitment to always love each other. It was magical and now I have that knowledge and feeling of faith and security to use as a template for everything that may come our way. That's pretty special!

Forever, here we come!

Thank you, Bridesmaids!

So, Bridesmaids are wonderful people and they make wedding-life happier and easier!

I would like to take this moment to thank all of them for their tremendous hard work, support, and encouragement through this entire process.

Here are the gifts that I have chosen as tokens of my appreciation. Each bridesmaid got their own Swarovski crystal starfish hairpin to wear for the big day!

Jackie is my Matron-of-Honor (she's not a maid being already married & a *hot* mama) and she has been the BIGGEST help through all of this since she has experience and could give me the most advice, help, and guidance. I chose this box because it was so elegant and sturdy - if you know her, you will know that she is naturally beautiful and graceful... and ALWAYS there when you need a friend. Her pin is a turquoise/teal color - quite against my sensitivities - to highlight the fact that we have completely opposite tastes when it comes to color palettes!! But thanks to her, no one has to suffer through a *fiery sunset volcanic orange* wedding...
BiYing was a superstar because during the 17 months of planning she was hopping back and forth between California and Chicago - for school, interviews, personal stuff, family, and Me! She made a commitment to be there for me and I could not have been happier to have shared this awesome time of my life with anyone else! I chose baby blue because I know it's her favorite color and I chose this owl because it was hilarious looking. When I think of BiYing I just think of all our crazy college years together and the insane amount of laughter and inside jokes. There's a joke inside this owl...

Lastly, Mariah was the only one of my bridesmaids who actually lives in San Diego, making her the most accessible on the fly. She was always willing to lend a helping hand when I needed opinions on dress colors or find out information on possible event venues - she even scouted out the Omni with me when there was like a private even happening... how awkward! So, thanks for braving through the whole ordeal - we made it to the end! I chose pink - and if you knew her, I wouldn't have to explain! =)

In closing, I would like to express my deep gratitude for the crazy amount of help and for throwing me the best parties of my entire life! I will never forget this incredible milestone and you made it happen!!

I will see you in the morning and then it's down the aisle! Goodnight!!

LateSummer Night's Dream

I have always been a vivid dreamer.  Most of the time they're really fun and I genuinely do get to fulfill my daytime fantasies.  For example, I have been to a neighborhood BBQ with Brad & Angelina because they lived in the condo above me, I have partied hardy with Ashton Kutcher in a city I can only assume was NYC, and I once held hands with, and possibly kissed, Harvey from Sabrina the Teenage Witch (back in the 90's, of course)... anyone still remember his name?

However, lately my dreams have been dominated by the anxiety-ridden motif of Wedding Day Blunders.  I have dreamt that my makeup and hairstylist both were no shows, the photographer missed practically the entire wedding, and the seashell place card holders were spilling uncontrollably out of their container with each step that I took.

I know they are wedding jitters and I have been assured by recently married brides and even moms of brides that they all had these same exact dreams and felt the same exact anxiety... but it still sucks to wake up feeling worried, frazzled, and more tired than you did when you went to bed!

But in the spirit of ill-fashioned dreams... I decided to include a short excerpt from another one of my literary projects.  This is an actual account of one of my dreams back when I was still working at the Medical Examiner's Office.  I guess I'm just one of those people who can't shut their brains off... but at least things are getting sorted out by my subconscious while I sleep... I just have a very loud and theatrical subconscious.  Figures.

This one was truly a masterpiece because it exhumed buried Zero Period Band Practice anxiety from over 10 years ago!!!  I wonder what I will uncover next...

Goodnight, world.  Sweet dreams! =)

            The sky was nowhere in sight as the sunrise lost the battle against the thick veil of fog.  I rode over the bumpy field, steadily passing the evenly spaced white lines.  The quad jerked and twisted against the uneven terrain.  Two platform trailers rattled angrily behind, threatening to throw off its cargo.  An array of percussive instruments somehow remained on board and tightly packed together.   Quite a curious accomplishment since they were not held down by any anchors.  The instruments themselves remained unerringly silent, as though they refused to acknowledge this undignified journey. 

                I didn’t need to check my watch to know I had about two minutes before I absolutely needed to get the trailers perfectly lined up at the front of the field, straddling the center line.  Six forty, six forty, six forty.  Must be on the field and ready to go by six forty.  Otherwise, Mr. J would make everyone desperately aware of his displeasure.  Six thirty-nine… crap.

           I whizzed by something small and dark on the ground.  The misty air was just saturated enough to make me quickly lose whatever sight I had of it.  Something triggered me to squeeze the brakes and the trailers all but crumpled into each other.  I swung myself cleanly off the seat in one swift movement.  I couldn’t spare a moment’s worth of concern for the wreckage of chimes, broken drumheads, and assorted mallets.  My attention was completely focused on the curious object that laid only feet from my, well, feet.

            A few sure steps brought me close enough to bend over and pick it up.  It was about the size of a honeydew melon but more elongated.  Densely weighted for something its size, almost like a medicine ball.  I rubbed it and the prickly fuzz felt good against my palms.  I looked down at the thing and sudden recognition struck me as I turned it over. 

            I intuitively knew what it was even before I saw the distinct profile.  Two dark ridges overhung the softly protected mounds resting on either side of the pronounced ridge.  An apex, a sharp cliff, and then the slight opening, held drily ajar, exposing the deep cavern.

            A human head.

            I needed to find some sort of refrigeration for the mystery head before anything else could be done about finding the rest of its owner.  I hadn’t noticed that I was walking during the whole discovery process and looked up to find myself at the doorway of an administrative building.

        The lobby was dimly illuminated by the grim light of the gray morning.  Ambient sounds of breaking ocean waves wafted through the hallways as I walked past empty offices toward the employee break room.  I held the cranium against my side like some sort of athlete sauntering off the court after a pretty good game.

            I found the break room but the door was locked.  I could see a few people milling about through the floor to ceiling glass panel next to the door.  They were holding coffee mugs in their hands and were laughing at each other's remarks.  I despised their mindless gaiety while I remained stuck outside the door holding a head, a fairly heavy one at that, while being pummeled by soothing ocean sounds.

            They ignored my knocks.  In fact, they seemed steadfastly oblivious of my existence and the human head I was waving at them.  I tried to call out to them but my voice was drowned by the crashing waves and screaming seagulls.

            The absurdity of the whole situation was overwhelming.  I turned around to leave and everything turned black.

             Simultaneously, I woke up.

(Note: the ocean waves... is my sound machine alarm clock)

Bling!

The wedding frenzy has slowed down a bit since everything has pretty much been squared away... there was a miniature crisis with the make-up artist and I surely will be blogging about that mishap as soon as time permits.

Now I get to finally sit back and enjoy the many rewards of this whole occasion - aside from the whole happily ever after marriage part, of course - but we haven't gotten to that part just yet!

I've gotten some fantastic bling! from friends and family and I really just want to show them all off... I kind of have this squirrel-syndrome where I am very attracted to shiny, sparkly things and I like to hoard them away and bring them out once in a while and just marvel at them and pet them.  Which is why I can't watch ANY of the Ice Age movies because I am literally in agony watching the poor prehistoric squirrel lose all his acorns ALL THE TIME!!  It's so unfair!!!!!

My preciouuuuus.... creepy moment, sorry!

I picked out the wedding veil and necklace and my mommy bought them for me.  I loved them at first sight because they matched my dress so perfectly and because they SPARKLED with crystals!  The veil is elbow length and rounded along the bottom with hand-sewn crystals all along the edges reinforced with glue.  The necklace is a gorgeous pearl and crystal creation with a unique and dazzling designer clasp that also doubles as a vintage-style pendant.  It's from the Summer Ball collection and each necklace is made by hand after purchase by Justine M Couture and can be customized to your specific details, so it really is one-of-a-kind!!!

If you have a keen eye, you may have noticed that there are two amazing pieces of jewelry in the picture next to us.  Well, that is because my MOHizzle extraordinaire had the incredible foresight and generosity to purchase the matching bracelet for me as the Best Birthday Present EVER!  Shout out to her lovely sis Jennifer as well for being a part of this incredible gift!  And, of course, to Mr. Khoa Ngo as well... because well, what's his is Jackie's... and what's his is Jackie's.  LoL.  Shhhh.... no one tell Will my marriage philosophies.

Next, I have this unbelievable display of craftsmanship and thoughtfulness.

SIDENOTE: I think I can also apply as a writer for QVC, yeah?

Once again, Jackie tortured me for weeks over this surprise that she created herself.  It's a full set consisting of a super cool brawler style ring that goes over 2 fingers, a necklace with my name, and a bracelet also with my name spelled out.  I told her a loooooong time ago when I was obsessed with Sex and the City that I wanted a necklace with my name written on it.  And then a few years back I went through this ghetto-fab phase and really wanted giant hoop earrings with my name inside them.  I didn't even remember I had these desires and she busted out with this ultra cool jewelry that she made herself!  She has a newborn... what the heck?!  I think she borrowed that secret necklace from Hermione Granger that gives her extra time.

Harry Potter & LOTR name-drops in one post... sho' nuff!!!


On a Vegas note... My friend & Bridesmaid Mariah got me a little necklace with a shot glass attached.  That little shot glass did me in... good times!  LoL.  She tried finding me a shirt or other kind of gear but they all said pretty vulgar things or like "Buy this b*tch a shot!" or "This b*tch is getting married!"  And it was very perceptive of her to figure out that I wasn't about to run around calling myself a b*tch... please, I have plenty of other people lined up for that job.  I was also fully decked out in the tiara and sash that my bridesmaids gave me for the bridal shower, so it was pretty hard to miss what I was.. although, I strangely still got some "Happy Birthdays!"  Those beads were courtesy of the Rio's Show in the Sky... where they threw down beads from the the floats in the sky... thanks to my super decked-out status, I got beads from every single float!!  No flashing required, stay in boobies!  =P

My  half-sister, Carol, sent me this beautiful heart necklace from Tiffany & Co.  I've never had any jewelry from them before, so it marks a first!  It's pretty awesome because up until 3 years ago, my sister and I had been complete strangers to one another.  I grew up with my mom and dad in America when she was already 18 years old and had her own life in Hong Kong.  Finally, 3 years ago, my mom approached me and asked me to connect with my sister and make friends with her.  It was shocking and weird at first... but she is a really nice person and has a great heart.  Even though we will probably never be as close as sisters who grew up together, I am hopeful that we can spend the rest of our lives building a friendship.

Lastly, and most dear to me, is the gift from my Mom & Grandma.  My mom sat me down this past weekend and pulled out this simple, elegant jade pendant from one of those little Chinese jewelry pouches.  I recognized it immediately because my mom used to wear it almost every day since I was a little girl.  That pendant originally belonged to my Grandma when my aunts and mom all bought it for her birthday before I was even born.  My mom was my Grandma's favorite daughter so she gave it to her to 'keep her safe.'  One day, my mom thought she lost it because her gold chain had broken while she was at the swap meet and she was devastated.  Later that evening, she found out that it was actually trapped inside her many layers of clothing.  Needless to say, she was super relieved but she never wore it again.  So, now, she is passing it onto me because I'm growing up and I'm about to start my own life in my own family... and it will keep me safe.  I treasure it the most above all things because I feel like I'm carrying my mom and my grandma with me close to my heart.