The Emotional Vampire - Part 1

Ever lived by the philosophy of never burning any bridges?  Stop living by it and simplify your life!

I began writing this real-life story about a month ago.  At that time, it seemed spiteful and maybe a tad
unsavory.  Upon the suggestion of a voice of reason, I decided not to post it.  Now that the feelings behind the reason to write the story have subsided... it feels very reasonable and cathartic to share the journey.  One of my demons has always been my inability to let go.

As time have passed, I've had plenty of practice letting go of small things and big things... and each instance would be difficult but it would always lead to a higher level of self discovery and personal growth.  I hope my reflective cautionary tale will serve to remind any of you reading that if there is someone in your life that you find incredibly boring, tiresome, draining, dramatic, irrational, repetitive, negative, calculating, judgmental, critical, entitled, and just generally a waste of time... get rid of them!  You'll be better off.

PART ONE

Today marks the successful end to an arduous and long process to remove a very unrelenting emotional vampire, aka EV, in my life.  As I came across evidence that this person has clearly moved on from the EV's fixation on 'us' - I was filled with relief and a personal sense of closure and triumph.

When I was in the worst leg of the journey in my early adult life - I came across this person and forged a bond out of a mutual affinity for complaining and ranting, ridiculous relationships, and an overall addiction to negative energy.  What I thought was a strong friendship turned out to be a ball and chain tethering me to the worst emotional history of my adult life.

During my attempts to lift myself from the pit of self-doubt and ambivalence by pursuing a career in acupuncture, the first signs of extreme incompatibility came rising out of the mire.  The EV came out in true form and lamented about abandonment and my lack of consideration.  How could you be so inconsiderate?  How could you be so selfish?  How could you clearly be such a bad friend when you were supposed to be a good one?  What about ME?!?!  Although I could not see it at the time, in retrospect, it is the first telling moment that the EV is a self-absorbed, victim-type emotional vampire.

In that same year, the first fall-out occurred.  After being force fed extreme guilt and obligation to go on a trip with mutual acquaintances - I embarked on the vacation while battling a relapse into a chronic condition I suffered mostly from ages 19 to 21.  I was diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and it had been on-and-off in severity for a couple years back then.  I was really embarrassed about it because of the nature of the syndrome, obviously, and that there was no cure or even tried-and-true symptom management.  Despite voicing my concerns, I was basically forced into committing to the trip... even after explaining that alcohol and lavish meals were pretty much the WORST things for my condition.  And I had no money as a student in a masters program... but I had to go because I had promised I'd go!!!  It was a disaster in its own right without any additional health complications and I decided to end it then and there.  I booked an early flight and went home before it was over and decided it was time to ditch the awful friendship.

Back then, I did not have all the wisdom and fancy psycho-therapy to simply continue walking away and never look back.  We went back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth... until we just became "friends" again.  The irreversible damages of that incident carried through in my mind for about two years as I navigated through the difficulties of my failed first career path.  I decided to pursue a new career path... and the EVwas there to vapidly cheer me on.  Yay...